Since the advent of social media, I have been increasingly exposed to diverse opinions and imperatives. Not only do I see and hear the opinions of my “friends” on social media, but I increasingly see and hear the opinions of those who influence them. This barrage of ideas requires me to sort through and constantly decide whether my current opinion is properly informed. I have had to formalize my guiding principles for whose opinions I am willing to listen to, at least deeply enough to support potential challenges to my own. I thought that others might feel this same way, so I offer to share my guiding principles so you can decide if they are helpful to you:

1) Ultimatums, Shaming, or Chains – Please let me make my own mind up. Don’t ask me to please re-post – if I want to I will. Don’t tell me that I am not a good citizen, real Christian, or anything else unless I agree. If I like what you have to say, it will inform my own opinion, and if I think it is good, I might re-post it. Its my decision, and no amount of “arm-twisting” will convince me otherwise. In fact, it may simply get me to delete or stop reading yours. Grow up, people. Interestingly, it doesn’t matter whether I agree or disagree – this turns me off quickly.

2) Bias – Understand me, we all have some bias, some predisposition to opinion. On most issues, I tend toward the conservative. I don’t expect you to post things that are free of bias – I expect to be able to detect, or for you to share your bias. If I know you well, I will understand your bias. Over time, I will be able to pull the bias out.

3) Expertise or Understanding – If you demonstrate some expertise or deep understanding of a topic, I will pay much more attention in the future. I am grateful when people bring information to my attention, but I like their thoughtful analysis even better, especially if I know that they are “in the know”.

4) Celebrity and Wealth – Media of all kinds are full of “Celebrity Bias” – as if it is news when some actor or singer expresses a political opinion. While they are free to hold that opinion, there is nothing the compels me to believe that they have either expertise or deep understanding. We now have celebrity lawyers, celebrity executives, celebrity chefs – and thanks to reality television, any effing idiot can be a celebrity. Wealth is the same. Unless you became wealthy because of some specific understanding or expertise, I really don’t care to listen to you just because you have money. For me, I feel less likely to listen to anyone whose name I recognize as a celebrity, except when they are talking about topics that provided them the celebrity – I will listen to musicians opine about music, and actors opine about acting and authors opine about literature, but I really don’t give a hoot what any of them have to say about economics, politics, or religion; why should I respect their opinion?

5) Bigotry and Tolerance – Truth is that I am much more likely to listen to a bigot, than someone who is overly sensitive, politically correct, or expressing views about “tolerance”. As far as I can tell, all of those things are just a mechanism to squelch the conversation about the issues. The fact is that, while bigotry is a bad thing, I can convince a bigot that his opinion about something or someone is unfounded. There are conversations that I cannot even have with the politically correct because of their “sensitivity” or their “tolerance”. If I can’t tell you about my religious views because my saying that a particular lifestyle is described in my religious literature as sinful is considered “hate speech” – that is just rubbish. Bigotry I can argue against – tolerance I cannot. I’m sorry – political correctness is simply the loss of our national sense of humor, and our ability to have a real argument about the behaviors of protected minorities. If I can’t talk about illegal aliens without referring to them as “undocumented workers”, because that offends you, this probably applies to you. I prefer to have a dialog with others who aren’t afraid to call a spade a bloody shovel. If this sounds like you, I am probably not listening, because I already know what you are going to say. If that sounds like bias – it is.

6) Complaints and People – I want to hear what you have to say. I don’t really like it when what you say is simply a complaint. If you have a complaint, I want some analysis of the problem and some ideas about what should be done instead. Its even worse for me, when you simply complain about a person. The problem is not that Barack Obama is President, the problem is how Barack Obama conducts himself as President. I am just as tired of my more conservative friends complaining about Obama as I was of my more liberal friends complaining about Bush. Tell me what you would do if you were in his place. This goes exponential if you are a candidate for political office – don’t tell me about your opponent and how he is bad, tell me what you would do to make things better. If you can’t tell me, I’ll pretty much stop listening – your time in office will be spent blaming everyone else for your ineffectiveness. Seriously, don’t tell me that the system is broken, unless you have a plan to fix it. Otherwise tell me how you would work within the system to make a difference.

I think these are pretty reasonable principles.  There is way too much coming at each of us, and unless we start to filter what we evaluate, we all get overwhelmed and give up.  Hope these were instructive – if you want to influence me, these are the rules.