This is a very personal story about how technology changes the way we live.  I wanted to share it because I find it instructive as technology continues to effectively shrink our world and reduce our man made boundaries.  These are changes that we should embrace, rather than fearing and resisting, because they will ultimately lead us to richness – not wealth, but fulfillment.

I am a technologist – a software geek.  I have had a personal computer since a short while after I graduted college in 1985.  I have been involved in each wave of social change introduced by software technology since that time.  Bulletin board systems, the internet, blogs and social media – cell phones – smart phones.  I have tried to adapt to technological change by adapting new paradigms and languages as they present themselves. 

When my son was in Junior High School (age 11-13) he (like his dad) was a bit of a geek.  He was very into video games, but was shy and not athletic.  He did not have many close friends in school.  He started playing an online MMORPG (massively multiplayer online roleplaying game).  When he played he sometimes connected with his friends from school or church and would play with them online and chat while playing.  Somehow, he found that people were using the game to animate music videos and other movies that they were making and posting on Youtube.  This movie making community had some leaders and those leaders gave him someone to emulate, a value system, and some inspiration.  He started making these movies himself with free technology.  He started hanging out online with some of these movie makers and chatting and they helped each other to make movies – they acted in each others films, and they shared tips and techniques – they created online forums to post their films and receive critique and acclaim from their peers.  My son was participating in an online community – that was world-wide.  He had online “friends” from all over the US and some from europe as well. 

For a time, he was spending 10 – 20 hours per week making these films and hanging out with his friends on-line.  He spent more time with them, than he did with his local friends from school or church, although his best local friend was also into making these movies.  Frankly, at the time, my wife and I were worried about his social life.  There was one friend that he seemed to look up to and respect.  He was a movie maker from The Netherlands.  These kids mostly knew each other by their “handles” – the names they used for gaming on-line. 

By the time that my son started high school, he was spending less time playing the on-line game, and less time making movies – but he still kept in touch with a few on-line friends.  We we planning a trip to London the following summer, and we decided to expand the trip to see Paris as well.  My son asked me if we could also go to The Netherlands – to see his friend.  My wife and I were stunned.  The thought of traveling to a country where we actually had little interest in touring to see a friend that our son had made over the internet seemed really far-fetched.  But the more we thought about it, the more we asked the other question – why shouldn’t we travel to allow our son to have what might be a very important experience for him.  Not going somewhere and seeing cool things, but turning an on-line friend into a real acquaintance.  Sure there were risks – what if they didn’t get along?  What if the friend wasn’t “who” my son thought he was.  What if the experience was a disappointment?  What would my son feel or believe about himself and about social experiences.

Ultimately, we decided to take the risk.  We traveled to the small city in NL and met the friend.  Our son hung out at a carnival with his friend and a whole group of friends for 3 days – and he learned about people from other places.  That we are all very much alike.  That we all have the same problems and the same issues.  He experienced new food and he took social risks that he had never taken before. 

This past week, this same friend came to visit us in the US, and has stayed in our home and experienced semi-normal american family life.  We have had a great time hanging out and eating and touring Chicago with our new family friend.  Our son (now a senior in high school) has really had a great time introducing his on-line friend to his local friends. 

Over the last few years, our son has asked on various trips to stop nearby to visit other on-line friends, and we have done a couple times.  Sometimes it has been good and others, disappointing.  But we as adults who grew up before the internet connected our children to kids around the world – need to realize that their world is much smaller than ours.  That they use technology to defeat distance without the fear or concern that we do.  This change will become huge over the next decade or two.  In the 20th century communication with other continents went from days to minutes, and travel went from weeks to hours.  Our kids will benefit from these technological advances in ways we couldn’t – because we didn’t have the vision. 

We as adults should not inhibit this, but help our children to push it and develop it.  Because the world is much, much smaller than it was when we were children.